I am honored and happy to be invited to share my spiritual journey experience with you. It’s wonderful to know that we belong to the same Pauline family although we come from different parts of the world. Blessed Alberione foresaw the power of the social media that would connects us all together.
I come from a typical Chinese Buddhist family, with loving parents and seven siblings. When I was conceived, my parents already had three children. They felt it was too much a burden to keep me, sothey had no choice but to terminate the pregnancy! The chinese medicine which my mom took, not only didnot terminate the pregnancy but made me even more determined to stay on! Frightened by the outcome, my grandmother immediately furnished my mom with loads of health tonicsto boost up my health and growth again. I was super eagerto come out into this world as I was delivered in the elevator of the hospital, amazingly with no defects or handicaps after what had happened! That was the beginning of the many great works that the Almighty God has done for me!
This first episode revealed that God has made me solely for His purpose and he let me know that I am unique and special.
Jeremiah 1:5 --- "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set y
ou apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
After I was born, my dad was still determined to give me away, to lessen the big burden of feeding so many mouths. But, my mom would not let me go. It was too heartbreaking for my dad to see her cry and part with me. Another battle won in staying on in the family and but the battle goes on...
This episode confirmedmy understanding of a mother's love and bond for her baby after carrying her for nine months in her womb. Therefore, like our fellow cooperator, Rae Stabosz, I am pro-life and strongly against abortion.
My first contactwith the Catholic Church was when I was six. I was separated from my family againand lived with my grandparents on weekdays so that I could go to a good convent school with my cousins. Life was miserableat the beginning with the constant leaving and coming home at the weekends.This has left a big scarin my life as it had made me so fearful of parting and separation. As I grew up, I would cry very easily when I see strangers saying goodbyes at the airport or at a funeral. At a retreat (Exodus Experience)20 years later, I was healedby a priest who helped me to sort outthe past events that caused much pain and agony in my life.
From this episode, I was freed from this agonyand experienced the first healing power of God.
When I was 17, I joined the Catholic Students’ Societyduring my tertiary education. I was so influenced by my fellow Catholic students that I decided to get baptized and join this group. My dad was very against my baptism, and tried to persuade me to wait till I get married, so that I could follow my future husband's religion. I was rebelliousand went ahead without his consent. He was very upset with me and started to say things like, "I wished I had given you away…” That was how the past was revealed. At first I was a little upset and hurt,but their love for me compensated their past decisions and they never loved me any lesser than the other siblings. My dad was my hero and the love of my life. It's no wonder that God was using me to bringDad to Him. He had left the Catholic Church 60 yearsago…
So, God brought me first and then my younger sister to the Catholic faith so that my dad was able to go back to God on his dying bed through our intercession. His amazing grace…
After I graduated from school and started working, I became a Sunday Catholic.
Like many practicing Catholics, the first ten years of my spiritual life was based on the five precepts of the Church.
1) attend mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation
2) confess my sins at least once a year
3) receive the Sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season
4) observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church
5) help to provide for the needs of the Church
(Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2041-2043)
The turning point of my life came when I was 26. I was invited to a Parish Renewal Experience and through that weekend, I discovered I was a Singaporean Catholic and not a Catholic Singaporean. My identity had been reversed! I was born for a purpose, made for everlasting life.
I am reformed from being a Sunday Catholic toa follower of Christ and wanting to buildHis kingdom on earth.
I became active in church again, joined the Youth Group, Legion of Mary, and participated in programs like Choice, Exodus, as well as attending many retreats andtalks. At that time, I was also introduced to the Charismatic Renewal Prayer Group in our church. It had just started and they needed members to help. I attended the Life in the Spirit seminar and was baptized with the Holy Spirit.
The first transformation took placeafter the outpouring of the Holy Spirit! From a shy and timid person, I was transformed to a charismatic leader leading in praise and worship!
Little did I know that God had a bigger challenge for me when I turned 30. The four years of faith formation in the renewal was to prepare me for the big cross that I had to carry, my married life. In a way, I am grateful for my marriage, because of my husband, I have come to depend more and more on Jesus and grown close to Him. The church was my refuge but I was always sent home by the nun or priest in the church, reminded by them to keep the promise of my marriage vows. My husband is a good and generous man, just difficult to live with.And God had given me two girls, who by His grace, have turned out to be beautiful and wonderful despite our dysfunctional maritalrelationship of 27 years.
The pressure to conform to the Church’s law that marriage is a covenant has made me a stronger person and helped to keep my family together.
Romans 8:28 --- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Myfirst encounter with the Daughters of St Paul (FSP) in Hong Kong was in the early 90s in our parish, at their book outreach activities. I was invited by the sisters many times then, to visit their convent but I never did. I was busy taking care of my toddlers…It was in 2007 when I met Sister Grace Lee, a Singaporean FSP stationed in Macau. She was transferred to HK where she then invited me to join the APC in 2008. I was educated by the Canossian Sisters, wanted to join the Good Shepherd Sisters but ended up being a cooperator of the FSP. The irresistible charism of St Paul and Blessed Alberione’s desire for us to become a modern daySt Paulhas provided me the Way to lead a sanctified life.
I now yearn to be transformed by my Lord, Jesus the Master.Prayer is the oxygen formy spiritual life.Every day, I attend morning mass to bein communion with Him, read His Word, and adoreHim in the Blessed Sacrament. The secret to my spiritual growth is building a close relationship with Him, who is the Master, Way, Truth and Life.This disciplined life has not only brought me closer to my Lord, it has also made my life healthier with the “early to bed, early to rise” habit. My purpose in life now is to lead a sanctified life, glorify God in my marriage and to spread His gospel of love so that more people will enter His kingdom with me.
I am formed, deformed, reformed, conformed, and transformed by Jesus Master, The Way, Truth and Life, my Living God. Amen!