書名：寬恕，不再是包袱---從原諒自己開始

作者：谷倫神父(Anselm Grün)  翻譯：黃渼婷

Carol Lau 的讀後感

看畢谷倫神父的著作，讓我感到有種釋放的感覺。有些時候對於過去的人和事未能原諒之時，作為基督徒總會感到自責，尤其站在主耶穌的跟前，衪在十架上祈求父赦免那些陷害衪的人，還要為他們的無知辯護時，對自己那份”小氣”更是極度慚愧。但這書提醒我寬恕要由坦誠面對自己開始，並與內在的創傷、陰暗面和好，才能做到真正的寬恕，唯有回歸內蘊的聖神，衪是不受傷害的，在我們的自我之上，才能享受真正的自由，才能從怨恨中釋放出來。

在怨恨一個人時，往往鄙視對方的為人，去寬恕實在難上加難；唯有從跟自己和好的過程中，才可進一步瞭解、體諒那些傷害自己的人也曾受傷害，才能開展寬恕的第一步。谷倫神父就實踐寬恕上，讓我在日後實踐和好的職事作出重要提醒，包括讓對方感受到自己為彼此衝突感到難過；請求和好必須給對方自由與尊嚴；必須等待對方準備好才可去開展和好的行動，這樣才能讓彼此的關係甚至生活可以從新開始。

無論在人與人之間、人與群體之間、民族與民族甚至國與國之間，和好的職事是很難去實踐，尤其報復、彼此的傷害不斷地發生，要承認自己的過犯、開聲道歉如大石堵塞洞口般難以啟齒時，彼此間不再對話，怨恨亦只會累積。願主賜世人在寬恕的功課上有實踐的信心及勇氣，得享愛中的契合與真正的自由。

(Translated from the Chinese version above)

Title of book: Forgiveness, No Longer a Burden – Starting with Forgiving Yourself

Author: Fr Anselm Grün  Translator: Wong Mei Ting

Having read Fr Anselm Grün’s book Forgiveness, No Longer a Burden – Starting with Forgiving Yourself, I have a sense of liberation.  As a Christian, sometimes I blame myself, in particular when I stand before Jesus who, on the cross, forgives those who frame him and defends for their ignorance, for my inability to forgive some people and let go some past events.  I am deeply ashamed for my being so narrow minded.  This book has reminded me that forgiveness starts with being honest with myself and reconciling with my inner wound and darkness.  Then I can truly forgive.  Only by returning to the indwelling Spirit, who is not hurt and above our own ego, can we enjoy genuine freedom and be liberated from hatred.

When we hate someone, we usually look down upon him.  This makes it even more difficult to forgive. It is only in the process of self-reconciliation can we go further to understand and appreciate that those who hurt us have been hurt themselves.  It is then we can take the first step to forgive.  On forgiveness, Fr Anselm Grün has given me a very good reminder on how I should discharge my duty to forgive.  These include: allowing the other party to know that I am sad about our conflict, giving the other party freedom and dignity as a condition for asking for reconciliation, waiting for the other party to get ready before I start to take action.  Then our relationship and even our life can start afresh.

Whether it is between individuals, between an individual and a group, between peoples and even between states, it is always difficult to reconcile with the other party especially when taking revenge and hurting each other continue to happen. It is always difficult for a person to admit his own mistakes and to apologise. If there is no dialogue between the two parties, hatred will only accumulate.  Let’s pray that God will grant us confidence and courage to practise forgiveness so that we can enjoy union in love and genuine freedom.